Butterflies...

Butterflies are a gift. They flit around us, just briefly, and then they are off, just as quickly, to the next stop. They don't stay long, they don't need to... But we are moved to smile when we see one. Butterflies are often compared to losing a loved one.
For this reason, we chose butterflies to symbolize the very brief joy and life of our twin sons, Ryder Jansan and Levi Dominic.

My Dearest Ryder & Levi
You each came and went far too soon on 2/28/10 but we are certain that from the moment we knew you were there until you were gone, you brought us incomparable joy.
We are grateful still for the honor we were given to be the parents of twin boys, if only for an instant. We imagine all that you could've been... would've been. We dream of the relationship you would have had with your brother, Eli. Although he is still very young, it was apparent that something changed for him also that day. We often think about what color your eyes were, how we would've been able to tell you apart (I am certain you would've tried to trick us) and how we would have loved to watch the growth and lives of identical twins to see how close and similar you were, and your differences. The thought of being the mother of 3 little boys while a little scary, was a challenge I couldn't wait to take on. The love between a mother and her son is like no other, and to have had that 3 times over made me feel like I was going to be the most loved mom of all.
We have never known a greater sadness... emptiness... since you had to go. Instead of watching over you both in your crib, I now dust off the urn that holds what's left of your perfect tiny bodies. There are unanswered questions and many, many tears yet to fall for you. But, always know, our beloved sons, that your mom and dad love you each and every day. You are in our hearts and thoughts and prayers. We yearn for the chance to hold you each and maybe we will be given that honor in different way, someday. Until then, we, and your big brother, will keep you close in all the ways we can. You DID exist, you WERE here, although briefly, and are always a part of our family.

All our Love,
Mommy, Daddy and Eli

"They" also say that you learn who your true friends are when a tragedy occurs and while I think that is true in most cases, I never had a single doubt how true my friends are. I simply got to learn the depth of love and friendship beyond my dreams. I thank them all deeply, from my very core. For all the love our family and friends showed us makes us richer on this earth. There is no thanks big enough, but to all our family and friends... you all know who you are THANK YOU!!!

Unfortunately the day we wanted to release our butterflies was the only rainy one in a sea of sunny days, so we released balloons and honored our boys with loving words, prayer and a few mimosas ;)
The following day brought just enough warmth and sunshine that we got to release our butterflies... Eli enjoyed this so much, especially since the last butterfly hung out on his hand for quite awhile. Here are some pics of he and the butterflies...